In fact, my arse should appear on a new revised version of the British map because in terms of population size it’s right up there with Romford, Cheshunt and Broxbourne. What is this need to be right up my backside when I’m waiting for a bus, boarding a bus or on the bus? You’re not gonna get there any faster. Whoever said the English like to queue had obviously never been to London. I move quite fast, I’m not one of those dawdling fools who acts like they’ve got all the time in the world but still everywhere I go there’s people who feel the need to trample on my corn toe or present their armpit to my face as they impatiently lean over me to show their pass a millisecond sooner than mine. All this just so they can stand in the aisle, again presenting their armpit to the world blocking the way when there’s plenty of empty seats all around them. And then, those same people, when they shove past you to get off the bus they walk like they’re walking Miss Daisy. But I do love London really, wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else but some people are such bumholes.
All in all I’m easily pleased with at least the flexibility of travel but then I would be; I come from somewhere where the buses run only every half hour after 6pm and on Sundays and totally cease to function by 11pm. Although I’ve been caught in the doors of those bendy buses by careless/malicious drivers enough times to know that they’re not that great. Likewise I’ve had many a near miss on the Routemasters – those are just asking for trouble by encouraging people to leap to their death. I’ve seen many an old codger throw caution to the wind in a frenzied bid to get home in time to watch Eastenders. But anyway, I’m just grateful to have either of these death traps along with the flexibility to ride with local nutters 24 hours a day. However the fact remains, you can teach a driver to be safer when navigating a bendy but you can’t teach the public to be less dumb and reckless. Faced with the prospect of missing a bus that is just about to pull out people are prone to act daft.
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