I saw an episode of Friends last night and Rachel’s nipples were showing through a T-shirt, a woolen jumper and presumably a bra because no woman’s chest stands as erect as that without some form of support. I often watch the re-runs because really Friends was the only US sitcom that I ever liked. Now that they’ve stopped making episodes of course they’ll still ‘be there for you’ several times a day… on every other channel. Most episodes I have seen umpteen times and I am ashamed to say that I know some of the lines even before they’re spoken but last week I saw an episode that was truly new to me. I don’t know how the hell that one managed to escape me. My boyfriend, who has always been very patient with me, supporting me through this affliction, had on the odd occasion pointed out the nipple phenomenon. I have a vague recollection of him asking me if they use fake nipples (as if I’m part of the wardrobe team and would be privy to those kinds of details). This woolen sweater episode – well all I can say is that Rachel’s nipples hit me square between the eyes and now that I’ve been alerted to the nipple situation I think I am subconciously always on nipple watch. Making your actors wear false nipples is hugely cynical and I do hope that Jennifer Aniston was not a vitim of such tactics but what other explanation could there be? that her nipples are just particularly prominent, that it was very very cold on set perhaps. And what do fake nipples look like? At this moment I have a worrying flashback to my breast feeding days when I was introduced to nipple protectors (which, by the way, were about as much use as a baggy condom. They never ever stay in place. Do false nipples look the same and do they have similar placement problems. If so, it could give rise to an unfortunate 3rd nipple situation or as Chandler might say ‘nubbin’ situation. I’d rather have a pair of real substandard nipples than 2 real nipples and a 3rd rogue nipple escaping down my chest and gravitating towards my belly button; no-one wants that do they?