A few days ago I saw something really wrong. I switched on the music channel and saw some middle aged looking men cavorting with bikini clad jail-bait. I vaguely remember a show last year where random members of oldskool boy bands were plucked from the brink of celebrity death, shoved in a nouveau shite group and resurrected for all to see; Totally Boyband I think it was called. What I just saw was truly cringe-worthy and I thought it was part of the mad reality show music machine. Then oh my God…could it be..? that guy looks vaguely familiar, he bears a striking resemblance to that now well respected actor Mark Wahlberg (AKA Marky Mark). Does that mean that this man trying to imitate cool is in fact his brother, Donnie? And who were these other blokes who i should have recognised (save for a few years of plastic surgery or lack thereof). As Janice would say, “Oh…my…God!!!” As the name flashed across the screen I could deny it no longer. ‘New Kids on the Block’?. You have got to be kidding me. Since when did old become the new ‘new’? I used to love New Kids on the Block. Why in the hell did some stupid music fool have to go and ruin things? Leave the 90s as they were -a sweet memory. Resurrecting old pop is like going to your Grandad’s funeral and then realising that he faked his own death; it’s HORRIBLE. Had they changed the name I might have had more respect for them. Might I be so bold as to make some suggestions? How about ‘Old Guys Who Have Been Around The Block (a few too many times)’? What next? Long Johns and beer bellies as 40somethings play out their mid life crises in song on screen gyrating with teen playthings? Madonna in soft focus is enough. Leave it alone (respect to her for longevity, muscle tone and flexibility though). At least she’s had the decency to stick around and evolve. Having a 15 year break is just cruel. If you see someone every day you don’t so much notice when they grow the odd nostril hair or gradually gain a few pounds, it’s not so much of a shock. But when you haven’t seen someone for a few years and then they come back into your life your mouth is saying, “It’s so good to see you. You look well,” when in fact your mind is saying, “Fuck!!! What happened to you?”. I’m not saying boybands shouldn’t change I’m just saying perhaps we shouldn’t have to see it. If your music hasn’t evolved then why bother? And what’s the backwards styling all about? They made them wear waistcoats when they were young and now their old we get bare chest under jackets and skin tight t-shirts. This isn’t even a WTF moment it’s a What The Fuck! moment. That shit needs to be fully stated.
Even with the dungarees and dodgy leopard print jackets these were solid times.
Now? Not so much
Have just watched the video again. The song and them are actually growing on me. Oh harsh harsh world.
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