Modern Day Dilemmas – No.6. Local authority kingpins

Don’t ever buy a flat in an ex-council block because the local authorities still wield the sword that fucks you up. If the law is an ass then the councils are certainly the peristaltic shit infested tubes that lead to it. Don’t ever expect to ring the council and speak to a human being; instead, be prepared for a buck-passing, generic phrase spouting shit shoveller who cares nothing for the safety and well-being of its residents. Local authority is a painfully constipated place where messages never get passed on, miscommunication is the policy and information retrieval is a dirty word and yields about as much information as a rectal examination on the clenched buttocks of a reluctant patient. They will fuck you over management fees and to do anything to get out of fulfilling their responsibilities of caring for communal areas and, to top it all off, will leave you in a community cesspool of their own making where they house coke addicted residents to feed on your emotional and physical well-being like big fat blue bottles in a shitfest. They will fuck you they will fuck you they will fuck you, sideways, upways, every way and charge you for that service. The Anti-social behaviour teams are actually ANTI social behaviour who appear to be, above all, skilled in the art of idiocy. They are fuckwotless and fuckwitless. These people should be subject to capital punishment for their negligence.

Meanwhile, the government upgrades cannabis from class C to class B but the local authorities can’t even effectively close down one longstanding crack house. I would rather invest in a cardboard box than take out a mortgage on an ex-council flat next time. The very term ‘ex-council’ is a misnomer. Broken doors are left broken, crackheads are left smoking. You still remain under their irresponsible command. I would like to hope that this is not the same across all of London but the fact that their staff have responded to all my enquiries with the imbecilic simplicity of a single celled organism does not inspire me with much confidence.

2 Comments

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI