He only eats Rice Crispies for breakfast at the moment and practically gags if I put anything red near his plate. He loves pasta but as most sauces are tomato based this creates quite a problem. Today I dared to offer him chicken goujons. Despite his 2 week abstinence from meat I thought I might be able to slip this one past him. He refused to be swayed from his vegetarian path. I want to know which spindle waisted leaf eater put this one into his head. (Weeks ago, in a moment of desperation, I had stopped by to view a vegan pre-school which promotes love of all living things. Perhaps it was those fuckers). He took a few bites then spent the better part of the evening attempting to decrumb the goujon…crumb by crumb. He then decided it was a good idea to dip the goujons in mayonnaise (which he had specifically requested, I might add) and then feed the remainder of his meal to the penguins that decorated his placemat. When his father grew bored of these games and virtually fell asleep at the dinner table he turned to me and enquired in the most innocent of tones, “Don’t wake daddy up?” to which I replied “What would you do if I asked you not to?” His answer was, “Play and shout…and drum…loudly.” It was then we realised we were dealing with no ordinary child.
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